Now and Later

I was given more at birth than just a name. I am not the eldest but the youngest, so I don’t have the biblical birthrights and that go to the firstborn. This is not discouraging to me, though, because the Bible is filled with examples of God using the younger of the children to do great things for His kingdom. What I would consider to be my own birthrights are different qualities and giftings that God has formed in me. He has proclaimed to my heart and to others since I was a child that I would sing for Him. I also believe that He has instilled within me a lifelong love of writing. I have learned over the years that God can use anyone He calls, whether they are the most talented or not. So, while I may have a longing to be great at whatever I do, I know I cannot become discouraged when others are better. God measures me by His own standards and by how I use what He has specifically given to me. It is instead for me to work at being a good steward of these gifts.

I have noticed that, for some reason, people tend open up to me. I believe a big part of it has to do with the fact that I am a listener by nature. Even so, I am still surprised when I realize someone has chosen me to be someone they talk to. These people trust me, and I do everything I can to honor that trust and be a positive influence on them. Even when I may not have the answer, I try to point them toward where the answer may be held.

There is also a totally different side of me, as there is with all people. In complete contrast with my tendency to be meek and shy (especially in group settings) is my flat-out silliness. I love to laugh and make my friends laugh, even at my expense. I am, like my dad, a complete goof at times. Unlike him, however, I can lack the boldness to bring it out whenever I want. Although I have come out of my shell tremendously over these years, I still have a hard time with getting to that comfort level with new people or in large groups. As it tends to go, the larger the group, the harder it is.

All in all, I am still developing. I have hopes and dreams, yes, but I want to stay flexible. Whatever God has for me I am sure is better than anything I can come up with on my own.