The Thespian In Me

                I had been in high school theatre for all of one year and I loved it. Being in church musicals in elementary and early junior high was a completely different matter. Here, there was more challenge. People weren’t looking for some cute to kids to prance around stage; they were looking for skill and a good performance.

                Not wanting to have to go through the Theatre Arts class that only worked out of a textbook and did the occasional skit, I decided that I wanted to audition for the Theatre Production class. It was the end of my freshman year and I had had encouragement from friends in theatre to just “go for it.” I prepared a monologue and came before the drama teachers for audition. It actually went pretty well. They put me in the Theatre Production class for the following year and I looked forward to it through the summer. When my sophomore year started, auditions started up right with it.

                The first play was a comedy that everyone was excited for. It turned out that I actually snagged a role! This was a big deal for me since I was the new kid and there had been plenty of previous members who were not cast. When the next show came around, a melodrama, I was cast again! Already, I was a part of the old theatre crew. Practices were long and happened most days of the week, but it seemed worth it. By the end of the year, it was UIL time, the ratings and competition between schools. Even with the small cast the play held, I still got a role. It may have been a smaller role, but I was a part of UIL! It was huge that they trusted me to be a part of this.

                Practices were really getting to me now. I hardly had the time to do all my homework when I got home every evening. I knew that the next year was going to be tougher than this one, but I wanted to keep with it. As scheduling turned out, however, I had to make some adjustments. I was not able to fit the production class in my schedule. I reassured myself and others that I would still be a part of drama; I just couldn’t be in the class. Besides, there were people involved in the plays that were not in the class. It was possible.

                At the beginning of the next year, we had auditions. I was given a significant role and was pretty happy about it. From the audition sheets, I had pretty much decided that this was the role I wanted. When the read-through day came, everyone who had a part was given a copy of the play. We sat in a circle and read our way through our parts. My part was not exactly what I expected. There were areas that, although not bad, I wasn’t comfortable with. Actually, I was pretty sure I didn’t care for it. Situations in the play were awkward and I felt even more awkward at the idea of portraying it.

                On top of that, when I got the rehearsal sheet for the month, I could not even see how I would be able to fit all the practices in with all the homework I would be getting. The previous year had been hard enough. This year would be harder.

                After talking it over time and time again with my parents and other people I trusted, I made the hard choice. I had to tell my drama teacher that I could not accept the role after all. I was embarrassed by the situation I felt I had created, but I knew it was necessary. It was unfair of me to have auditioned in the first. Still, I just had to keep working from where I was.

                I never ended up getting back into drama that year or any of the years since. I loved it while it lasted, but it seemed unpractical to try and be involved in drama with all the other things I had to do. Perhaps there will be times in my future that I can bring out the Thespian in me once again, but I will try and be content with my dorm-room theatrics for now.