Just Trust

In the second semester of my senior year, my dad pulled me out to the back patio to have a talk. I could almost feel what was coming, but that didn’t make it easier…

All my life, I was the academic child. I loved school, loved learning, and always strove to do my best at everything I put my hand to. I invested who I was into my schoolwork. Even my friends were from my AP classes! Beyond our character traits, we also knew each other by our rank. I was number nine out of more than seven-hundred in my graduating class. Academics were part of my identity. That is why it was so hard when, towards the end of my grade school career, my dad told me that I may not be able to go to college.

How can this happen? Graduation is so close and I have been working for this my whole life! For the last two years I spent untold amounts of time researching colleges to find out where I should go. My heart had already been pulled to Southwestern. Now, after everything, I was being told that all of it was going to be taken away from me? This is not how it’s supposed to happen.

These were my thoughts and emotions as my dad explained that, since losing his job a month before, college didn’t look like a possibility. We would have to live off what we had left. If I wanted to go to college, I would have to support myself. I knew that there were students everywhere who did that, but I had no chance to plan for it. Still, I was determined to go. But even if I did find a job and worked through college, how could I afford a private one? My dreams looked like they were slipping away. As my dad stepped back inside the house, I remained in the backyard and tried to hold back the tears. I was unsuccessful.

In the middle of my distress, I remembered a word that a dear friend had brought to me from God. Just a week before, he came to my family with messages he said God had spoken to him. I recalled part of what he said to me… “You don’t need to worry about college. God will be with you.” Those words meant even more to me now. I had to trust God. That is easier said than done! Through the following week, emotions and worries tried to plague me at every corner. I would make myself stop and remember what God promised, and have faith that He would take care of me, whatever that meant.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.” Those are the words of Jesus in John 14:1. This time in my life made it more of a challenge than ever to not worry, but trust. It’s all I could do. About a week after the talk with my dad, I got a phone call from a strange area code. I was completely surprised to find that it was a lady calling from Southwestern, the school I wanted to go to. She told me, right then and there, that I had received the University Scholarship! This was huge! It would pay for all my tuition expenses for four years. I cannot even express the joy that filled me. All the glory belongs to God! It was Him who brought this. I made sure people knew it, too. That summer I had the opportunity to speak to my youth group about trusting God, giving the testimony of how He worked in my life. He is true to His word! I am so thankful for what He has done, and how He provided for me when it seemed like there was no hope. I pray that it continues to be an encouragement to others.